Betrayal

I walked up to the door that separated me from my manager and my managers’ manager. I could hear them. Their every word resounding in the room. I had taken the hint to leave after the meeting. My manager was a mentor for the past two years. A great one at that. Someone I trusted. Someone I looked at like Mr. Rogers. 

Hate. I heard the word pierce the air. Hate. He said he hated the way I was, the way I did certain things. He was laughing at me. The other man was laughing too. They were both laughing at me. Loudly. 

Listening still, as if the words never happened, I closed my eyes. My other mentor vanished. Literally vanished. I needed him the most right now. A CEO, he often mentored me on how to act on my boards and how to act around businesses. But he vanished. 

I know what he did. I have a feeling of what he did. I think he blocked me on Facebook. Refuses to respond to my texts. He abandoned me. He had been a great friend. But no- he abandoned me. No reason given. Nothing. Just left. 

And now… Another betrayal. 

The betrayal begins with my mother. My father. They abandoned me when I was two. I was an orphan from then on. 

Then the abandonment and betrayal of my friends. My maid of honor. My friends in high school, college, my professional life, my mentors. My last abandonment of my mentor I never saw coming. I would have never imagined him doing this. But no… I am a monster. And now… I cannot even trust my own manager. Oh well. I don’t care what people think anymore. I can’t. It would drive someone insane. 

Still. As I walk from my workplace, the betrayal weighs heavily on me. I am so heavy with betrayal, I must sit down. I sit in a chair right next to the door, staring at the darkness of the evening outside. It is late- too late for me to still be here. I am lonely. Sad. Betrayed. 

I said I don’t care what they say… But I am still so heavy with betrayal. So heavy. The lines mark my face, weigh my shoulders down. My eyes are sad, the light dimmed. I’m no longer myself, the passion is gone. 

Betrayal, my old friend. I suppose we will have a chat once again.